The Pickup Artist Season 2 Blog

The episode started with the typical amount of excessive man-hugging and crying.

It always seems like Brian is in the center of all this man-hugging.

Did you see him going ape shit rubbing Rian’s shoulder?

For a guy who has only touched a boob and ran he sure isn’t scared to touch other guys…

After thankfully getting through the annoying parts early, we are treated by a butta-faced professional sexologist Erin Lindsey and her hot assistant Whitney…

First thing first, since when is there professional “Sexologists”?!?

I mean, I was naive back in college but I wasn’t stupid…

If there was any Sexology 101 classes I would have been camping outside the registrars office like soccer moms outside of the Hannah Montana ticket booth…

Hell, I would have majored AND minored in Sexology if I knew there was such a thing.

Back to Erin and Whitney…

Erin demonstrates the erogenous zones by licking, kissing and feeling up Whitney…

YES!!!

But wait…

Any time it seems like it is going to be hot lezbo action it cuts away to the guys staring with their jaws on the floor…

COME ON DAMMIT!!

Quit cockteasing us!

So then the girls bring out a 7-foot tall mannequin in lingerie and tell the guys to make out with it…

This is bullshit…

I want to see Mystery make out with the mannequin and not make it look awkward.

So then we learn that the guys will be making out with one of the girls…

Please let it be Whitney… please let it be Whitney….

Nope, it’s buttaface Erin…

Dammit!!!

To help the boys out, they were nice enough to turn the lights out when they make out with her…

One guy slobbered on her like a dog…

Another poked and prodded at her like she was the control panel on the Enterprise…

And Matt sassified her just right…

He got an earbud with Mystery giving him tips when infield…

So then we have Mystery in his Freddy Krueger sweater teaching the guys kino escalation, compliance tests, indicators of interest (IOIs) and calibration…

These are all important things to learn but they blow over them so quick in the show that it is impossible to get a firm grasp of them…

If you don’t yet know these concepts, I recommend getting Mystery’s book “Venusian Arts Revelation” to get a more detailed description of them.

So the infield challenge involves the guys trying to kino escalate with a target to the point of kissing her on the lips.

They all fail…

But crybaby Rian manages to kiss a girl on the cheek so he is the winner.

Fuck that…

I kiss my grandma on the cheek!

Kick crybaby off any how…

*SPOILERS*

So in the elimination it comes down to Greg and Todd…

What?!?

I predicted these two guys to be the two finalists!!!

And Todd got the boot…

I have to give this season credit for being unpredictable…

I also have to give Matador credit for his awesome “you have to crack a few eggs to make an omelet” line in this episode…

Classic!

Next week it looks like crybaby Rian has another tit fit…

Did I mention yet that I really do not like Rian?